What happened to “you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours”?
For over six years I’ve been running a local community website, Facebook page and Facebook Group with over 12,000 people. In that time I’ve quietly promoted countless local businesses.
Loads of them.
Most I’ve never met.
Most don’t even know I exist because I do this as my FB page, not as me personally. I don’t chase the spotlight.
All this despite being constantly bloody skint myself, but I want to help as many local businesses as I can. And I do it while rarely mentioning my own name or my own business.
The big thing I’ve noticed over these years is how predictably selfish so many people are. It’s clearly demonstrated on social media.
Me, me, me and more me.
The Pattern Is Consistent
Here’s what typically happens. Somebody creates a Facebook post as their business page, then they like their own post as their business page. Fair enough, I suppose.
When somebody like me shares their business post, they’ll like the post I’ve shared. Very rarely do they leave a comment to say thank you. In about six years I think I’ve received maybe two personal messages of thanks. Two.
Those same people who see that I’m sharing local businesses are only interested in their own. They rarely share other business’s posts. They rarely acknowledge that somebody completely unknown to them did them a favour and shared their content.
They rarely like or comment on the posts about another local business.
It’s incredibly rare to see anybody share something that isn’t their own business.
Where Did Reciprocation Go?
I remember 20+ years ago, within business communities online, we talked about reciprocation. It was a key to growth online as far back as I can remember.
But now? It’s such a rare thing.
I get it. People are busy. They’re scrolling fast, juggling ten things at once, trying to keep their own heads above water. The algorithm doesn’t help either, burying posts unless they get immediate engagement. And not everyone understands how it all works.
But even accounting for that, the pattern is stark.
The Half-Hearted Share
Then there are those very, very rare occasions when someone does share something that isn’t about them. They might share it to their customers on their business page.
Despite having thousands of connections on their personal profile, friends on Facebook who might also be potential customers of the business they’re supposedly promoting, they won’t share it there. Just to the business page where it’ll be seen by their own customers only. Which is probably an entirely different audience.
You look at their personal profiles and it’s just me, me and more bloody me.
Even worse, when they do “share” something, they haven’t actually shared it. They’ve literally just nicked the content of the post and created a new one, making it look like they created it themselves. “Oh, look how clever I am.”
That’s not sharing. That’s theft with a few extra steps.
Maybe I’m The Idiot
Perhaps I’m the one doing it wrong. I could bomb my local community group with my own business adverts every bloody day if I wanted to. But I don’t. I would feel dreadful doing that.
And maybe that’s the problem. Maybe the people who get ahead are the ones who aren’t bothered by that feeling. The ones who just plough on, promoting themselves relentlessly, not worrying about whether they’re giving anything back – or ‘paying forward’.
But I can’t help thinking there’s something fundamentally off about it all.
We’re supposed to be building communities online, but it often feels more like everyone’s shouting into the void, hoping someone will hear them while simultaneously ignoring everyone else.
It’s Just Revealing
The whole thing is revealing about how people behave online.
Not everyone, obviously.
There are some brilliant, generous people who do engage, who do share, who do understand the value of community. But they’re the exception rather than the rule.
And I’m not sure what the answer is. You can’t force people to be less selfish. You can’t make them understand reciprocation if they don’t want to.
I just find it shocking, really. After more than six years of watching this pattern repeat itself over and over again.
Maybe social media has just made it easier to see what was always there. Or maybe it’s created it. Either way, it’s a bit depressing.
So, here’s a challenge in reciprocity
- Go and share another local business.
- Share it far and wide.
- Share it as you, to your profile, to your connections, your friends and family.
- Share it as your business if you have one, share it to local groups where you regularly share your own business.
We are all guilty of being a bit selfish, and we can all help the local business community. If we want to. And, I bet, deep down, we all do want to.
Questions & Answers for the Skimmers
Why don’t people share content from community pages?
Most people focus primarily on promoting their own content. Many are overwhelmed, time-poor, or simply don’t understand how reciprocal sharing benefits everyone in a community. It’s become the norm to take without giving back.
What is reciprocation in online communities?
Reciprocation means giving back when someone helps you, like sharing their content when they’ve shared yours. It used to be a core principle of online business communities 20 years ago but has become increasingly rare on modern social media.
How can community page admins deal with selfish behaviour?
Focus on the people who do engage and reciprocate, rather than those who don’t. Set clear expectations about community participation. Remember that not everyone understands social media etiquette, and some people are genuinely too busy or overwhelmed to engage consistently.
Is it wrong to promote your own business on social media?
No, self-promotion isn’t inherently wrong. The problem arises when it’s entirely one-sided with no engagement with others’ content. Balance is key – promote yourself, but also support others in your community.
Why do people copy content instead of sharing it properly?
Some do it to make the content appear as their own creation, gaining credit without acknowledging the source. Others might not understand the difference or the importance of proper attribution. Either way, it’s poor practice that undermines community trust.