Ten years ago today, one man sat in a coffee shop with an idea. A week after asking for the blessing from the heartbroken mother of a young man who’d lost her son to suicide.
he didn’t have a business plan. It wasn’t a national charity with hundreds of venues across the UK.
Just an idea that maybe men needed somewhere to sit down, have a brew and talk.
Nine men walked through the door
Days later, nobody knew whether anyone would walk through the door.
Nine men did.
I don’t imagine anyone in that room thought men would still be turning up to groups like this ten years later. They were simply a handful of blokes who’d turned up. One man spoke, then another, and the format made sense almost immediately.
It started about as simply as it could have done.
Ten years later
Today, ten years later, that same simple format has repeated in over 350 venues across the UK. Around 7,000 men’ll walk through those doors on Monday nights.
No fancy psychology and no miracle cure.
Just a warm welcome, a cuppa, a circle of chairs and a chance to speak if you want to.
I’ve now been involved with Andy’s Man Club for over three and a half years, most of that time as a facilitator. Every Monday I still see exactly the same thing happen.
Some men walk in looking terrified.
Some have no idea what to expect.
Some don’t say a word during their first meeting.
Others talk for the first time about things they’ve carried around for years.
What actually happens in the room
There isn’t a script and no magic sentence that fixes everything. There rarely is. But there’s something incredibly powerful about being listened to by people who aren’t trying to judge you or solve your life in five minutes.
I’ve seen men come back week after week and gradually seem ‘lighter’.
I’ve seen friendships develop and seen men start laughing again after weeks of barely saying anything.
I’ve seen men realise they aren’t the only one carrying whatever they’ve been carrying.
That is so important, especially when a man has spent years thinking he’s the only one carrying it.
Every Monday night
It won’t solve every problem. Andy’s Man Club has never claimed it can. Life’s still life when we leave on a Monday evening.
But for two hours, thousands of men know they don’t have to carry everything on their own.
That deserves to be recognised.
So today isn’t just about looking back at what Luke Ambler, Andy’s mum Elaine and those first nine men started.
It’s about every volunteer who unlocks a building, puts the kettle on, lays out the chairs and welcomes another man through the door.
It’s about every man who’s found the courage to walk through those doors for the first time.
And it’s about remembering that something remarkable grew from one person deciding to stop wondering whether something should exist and simply gave it a go.
Happy 10th birthday, Andy’s Man Club.
I hope the conversations keep happening, especially for the blokes who haven’t found their way through the door yet.