peer support
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Two Hours of Human Connection in a Week
On a Monday night, a group of men sit in a room together and talk. Properly talk. Not the usual surface stuff about the weather or football scores, but the things most blokes carry around quietly for years. For two hours, nobody interrupts, nobody judges, nobody tries to fix you. They just listen. And that…
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Is Support Always Meant To Be Ongoing?
There’s something that’s been circling in my head for a while and it came up today in a conversation with another facilitator who’s been running a group as long as I have. Every Monday night, across the UK, around 6,500 (or so) men walk through the doors of Andy’s Man Club (it was actually over…
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That One Man Who Nearly Went Home
A man stood 100 yards up the road. He nearly didn’t come in. This is why the sweeper role at Andy’s Man Club matters more than the handbook can explain. The Man Who Nearly Went Home Last night I had one of those moments that sticks with you. Along with another facilitator, I was on…
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Thanks Mate, Pass the Ball – Andy’s Man Club
Last night one of our facilitators shared that his long-time ill dad had passed away. This morning the group chat felt heavy. No one wanted to be the first to move it on. I said: Nobody wants to be the first to move the conversation on from what was shared. And I suppose that’s similar…
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When Helping Other Men Started To Hurt
For the past three years, I’ve walked into a room on a Monday night, pulled on a black and white AMC t-shirt, and, along with other facilitators (we have several now) tried to hold space for other men. I care about them. I care about the group. For a couple of hours a week, I…
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The Emotional Risk Nobody Talks About in Men’s Groups
Put 15 blokes in a circle. Tell them they can offload. Tell them they won’t be judged. Tell them nothing leaves the room unless someone is at risk of harming themselves or others. Now watch what happens. You’re going to hear things that sit perfectly with you. Things you relate to, can understand, can relate…
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Andy’s Man Club is About the Team, Not the Title
Every Monday, across more than 330 groups, around 6,500 men walk through the doors of Andy’s Man Club. That doesn’t happen because someone ticked a box on a rota. It happens because teams show up. Yes, we need a Lead Facilitator. Yes, we need a Co-Facilitator, a couple of Sweepers, ideally 4 facilitators in the…
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The Loudest Voice in the Room
Wearing the black and white doesn’t make you the most important man in the room. It doesn’t mean you should be the loudest voice. It doesn’t mean you should be the most knowledgeable voice. It definitely doesn’t mean you should fill every silence. The most important voice in the room is always the man holding…
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When Peer Support Ends and You Drive Home Alone
There’s a moment that happens in peer support groups that nobody really talks about. A bloke shares something heavy. Not “work’s been stressful” heavy. Something that’s been buried for years. Something that took courage, or maybe just the right Monday night, to finally say out loud. The room goes quiet. You can feel it land.…
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Don’t Tell Me Who to Be Until You’ve Lived Who I Am
I’m tired of being interpreted by people who’ve never lived a day inside my head. Never walked in my shoes. Tired of the nodding. The sympathetic tilt of the head. The quick inhale that signals advice is loading. “I know exactly how you feel.” No, you don’t. You know how you felt. In your life.…