A few weeks back, I stumbled across something called REBT – Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy – and thought, “Is this one of those therapies they recommend for ADHD?” It sounded like the sort of thing that might be on a leaflet from the GP or a mental health service, so I went down the rabbit hole to see what it actually is, and whether it’s any use for us grown-ups with ADHD.
Turns out, it’s not quite what I thought. But it is interesting – and actually quite relevant, just not in the way I first assumed.
What the hell is REBT?
REBT is basically the granddad of cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). It was developed by a psychologist called Albert Ellis back in the 1950s, and it’s all about the idea that it’s not the events in our lives that mess us up, but the beliefs we have about them.
The classic example is the ABC model:
A = Activating event (e.g., I forgot to pay a bill on time)
B = Belief about that event (e.g., “I’m such a useless failure, I can’t do anything right”)
C = Emotional and behavioural consequence (e.g., shame, anxiety, avoiding money stuff completely)
REBT’s job is to challenge those rigid, catastrophic beliefs (the Bs) and replace them with more realistic, flexible ones. It’s very much about “disputing” the nonsense we tell ourselves and learning to accept that life is messy, people are imperfect, and that’s OK.
The four big irrational beliefs
From what I’ve read, REBT focuses on four main types of unhelpful thinking:
Demandingness – “I must be on time, organised, and productive all the time, or I’m a failure.”
Awfulising – “If I mess up this task, it’ll be awful and I’ll never recover.”
Low frustration tolerance – “I can’t stand feeling overwhelmed or bored; I have to escape or avoid it immediately.”
Global self-rating – “Because I’m disorganised and impulsive, I’m a lazy, useless person.”
Sound familiar? Yeah, me too. These are the kind of thoughts that plague a lot of adults with ADHD, especially when we’re already feeling like we’re failing at life.
So, is REBT recommended for adult ADHD?
Here’s the bit I wanted to get straight: REBT isn’t usually listed as a specific, standalone therapy for adult ADHD in the way that ADHD-adapted CBT is.
The main talking therapy recommended for adult ADHD is a structured, practical form of CBT that focuses on things like:
- Time management and planning
- Organisation and routines
- Emotional regulation
- Reducing avoidance and procrastination
That’s the stuff that directly tackles the day-to-day ADHD struggles – the forgotten appointments, the messy desk, the last-minute panic, the emotional rollercoaster.
REBT, on the other hand, is more about the emotional fallout of ADHD: the shame, the self-hatred, the anxiety about being “lazy” or “irresponsible,” and the perfectionism that makes everything feel like a disaster if it’s not perfect.
Where REBT can help with ADHD
Even though REBT isn’t usually branded as an “ADHD therapy,” it’s still really useful for the kind of thinking patterns that go hand-in-hand with ADHD:
- Challenging the belief that “I must always be productive or I’m worthless.”
- Learning that it’s OK to be late, forgetful, or messy sometimes, without that meaning you’re a bad person.
- Accepting that ADHD is part of you, but it doesn’t define your entire worth.
- Building tolerance for frustration, boredom, and discomfort – which is bloody hard when your brain is wired for novelty and instant reward.
In practice, a good ADHD-informed therapist might use REBT-style techniques within a broader CBT framework: helping you dispute those harsh, rigid beliefs and replace them with more flexible, self-compassionate ones.
The bottom line
So, to answer my original question: no, REBT isn’t typically recommended as a specific, standalone therapy for core ADHD symptoms like inattention, hyperactivity, or impulsivity. The gold-standard talking therapy for adult ADHD is still ADHD-adapted CBT, which gives you practical tools for managing time, organisation, and emotions.
But REBT? It’s a brilliant way of tackling the emotional baggage that often comes with ADHD – the shame, the perfectionism, the self-criticism, and the feeling that you’re constantly failing. If you’re struggling with that side of things, REBT-style thinking can be a game-changer, even if it’s not the first thing on the ADHD treatment menu.
If you’ve ever looked at a messy room, a missed deadline, or a forgotten appointment and thought, “I’m such a failure,” then REBT might be worth a proper look – not as a magic cure for ADHD, but as a way of being kinder to yourself while you’re learning to live with it.